You love me.

Abba-

It moves me to tears virtually every time: “You love me.”

I don’t understand it. I struggle to believe it. I can’t prevent it or contain it or every repay it.

Yes, I understand that You love and treasure every person in this world–but this includes me? It has only been over the course of the last year that I really began to believe that this applies to me as well. 

When I run away and look over my shoulder to see if anyone thought I was worth chasing, I bump into You.

When I take affirmation from people like a hit of heroin and am left dissatisfied and craving more-You remind me that You sing praises over me. 

When one week I am boldly declaring my willingness to die for the Gospel and the next struggle to even focus on you for ten minutes, You love me still. 

When I spend hours upon hours alone, You remind me that I have never been more un-alone. Ever.

When I have worship music blaring through my head phones and self-worshiping thoughts echoing from my heart, You love me enough to convict me of my idolatry.

And when I stumble and fall over and over and over again, You remind me that You chose me before I chose You. 

I am Your portion and You are my prize

Drawn to redemption by the grace in Your eyes

Your grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking

And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss

And my heart turns violently inside of my chest

I don’t have time to maintain these regrets

When I think about the way…

You love me.

Love,

The Girl in the Corner