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What if I don’t want to?

What does it say about my heart when I don’t want to have a quiet time? Maybe that’s just it–I don’t see it as an opportunity to spend time with the Creator of the universe. Instead, I see it as a sort of mandatory duty.

Deliver me. I am sorry. Please forgive me. What’s wrong with me? I need Your grace so much.

I need You. I need You to soften my calloused heart. I need You to shave away the scars. Break down the walls. Be my Knight in shining armor. I am asking You to rescue me. I asking You to break my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh.

Do you know what a big part of me wants to do right now? I want to sit on Facebook and marvel at home many people “like” the above photo. I want to gaze at my own glory. I want to marvel at how wonderful I am–how worthy of worship I am.

I am disgusting.

I need grace. I need You to illuminate Your Word and show me how much I need You. Every single day, I implore the masses to worship me instead of Jesus.

Father forgive me, for I know what I am doing and I do it anyway.

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